bread factory

Hecate Miller, 2007

"I used to have an interest in critical thought and now I have no such interest, though my political opinions have not really changed. I used to read books by authors such a A. Badiou and K. Karatani and now I read no such books. We distributed photocopied leaflets against the occupation of Iraq. If not to people directly we stuck them up on pillars supporting roads. We wrote subversive texts. Of course I knew I wasn't qualified and I did it out of spite. I even wrote an activist blog with the links under the headings "the damned of the earth" and "prisoners of starvation" but such gestures are futile. It was a career and a career that didn't pay. When I realised this it was over. We thought of it as a futile gesture or we thought we thought of it as a futile gesture but it turned into an empty career. When I realised it was a futile gesture I put these things away. I already had a real job and was ashamed to have had an imaginary job. It was futile: as if this message was written on a church collection plate on which we kept car parking money and the message appeared when all the change had been taken. I already knew it but the meaning had been obscured. We hung out with deadbeats and people abused our hospitality. I already had a job cleaning offices for the BNP. I had thought of it as career but it was no career and after that I didn't bother. But I was still broke and my politics hadn't really changed."